'AWNIOGO': KNYPERSLEY (H)*

they came from Knypersley... 

Sunday, July 23

TALBOT CUP, SEMI-FINAL 

The first Talbot Cup semi-final in Moddershall’s history was played at the second attempt after rain had washed out the initial encounter, with Knypersley on 45 for 2 from 10 overs (i.e. with us certain to roll them for 93 and knock them off for 2 with 18 overs to spare). Even before the replay had started, a sizeable crowd had gathered at Barnfields, no doubt hoping to see a keenly fought contest between the second placed team in Section A and the leaders of Section B. As he had done last week, Addo won the toss and put Knypersley in, hoping that their strenuous fielding drills (all conducted in pristine club tracksuits) had tired them out. The pitch, although firm and dry, looked a little sluggish, but with clear skies overhead and a sun-scorched outfield the batting conditions were excellent.

In a complete change of tactics from the abandoned game, Addo opened the bowling with himself from the Road End whilst Andy Hawkins operated from the Pavilion End. As our two most consistently accurate bowlers the plan was clear: peg back Knypersley in the early stages and then pick up wickets as the pressure mounted. Indeed, with only 17 runs conceded in the opening ten overs we had gained the early initiative and it was clear that Gareth Coates and Rob Doorbar were not settled. It was Doorbar that seemed the keener of the two to inject some much needed urgency into proceedings and he began to charge at Addo indiscriminately, yet without success. 

Coates would eventually run past one 

When 15 overs had gone down there were still just 36 runs on the board, so Doorbar reverted to plan B and slogged Addo for a four and a six in the same over, shots that he had clearly learned from his time at Stallington (probably off the inmates). It seemed as though the shackles had been broken but in the following over he was caught at mid-off to put Knypersley on 49 for 1. Seth bowled another tight over to finish with, and completed his allotted ten over ration having conceded a miserly 23 runs. 

In Addo’s final over, Coates – who by this time had been dropped at slip by the pro and survived gloving one into my hands off Hawky – realized, belatedly, that he wasn’t playing in a timeless Test Match and that 16 runs in 19 overs was to nobody’s benefit but ours. He also decided to adopt the cavalry charge method, but accidentally ran past the ball and I took the stumping without fuss. Simon Bailey, brother of Northamptonshire’s Rob, was then run out a few overs later in a dreadful mix-up with his captain, Darren Long, to put us on top. 

Rob Bailey's (in)famous dismissal in Barbados, 1990

With Knypersley on 67 for 3 from 24 overs I felt that if we could remove either one of Long or Mark Tournier, the fourth wicket pair, then we could force our opponents into complete consolidation. However, they launched an astonishing and brilliant counter-attack that yielded 132 runs in only 13 overs before Long was well caught by Dave Astle at deep cover off Wayne Stones. While Long’s 59 provided the backbone of the Knypersley effort, it was the innings of Tournier, the tall Australian professional, that gave them their impetus. However, his innings was not without blemish: he had an escape whilst still in his late teens when he skied Iain Carr to deep long-off where John Myatt settled himself for the catch. Suddenly there was a loud cry of “Addo’s!” as Lovejoy sprinted across in front of the sight-screen from long-on. Unfortunately, despite a desperate dive, he failed even to get a hand on it.

Tournier didn’t look back, and after a cautious start he began to open his broad shoulders, moving to his half-century with three consecutive sixes off Cokey who was all too frequently drifting onto his leg-stump. He reached 74 before being dismissed in the penultimate over. The Brew brothers fell in consecutive balls during the final over but still Knypersley were able to post a score of 227 from their 40 overs, having garnered 10 runs an over from the final 16. In spite of overtures to the contrary, we left the field feeling quite demoralized, knowing that we would have to bat exceptionally well to win. However, before we had reached the halfway stage of our reply we were in complete disarray at 60 for 6, and the game had gone… 

Darren Long (left) and Neil Dutton 

The first wicket fell when I was triggered in the fifth over, allegedly caught down the leg side off Boon. The decision was appalling – in fact, I missed the ball by such a distance that I actually laughed when I heard the appeal, thinking it was just a ruse to try and prevent the umpire giving a wide. But then up popped his finger. I stood motionless at the crease for a few moments before trudging off incredulously. On returning to the dressing room I hurled my kit everywhere and sat there feeling angry and bewildered, as is always the case in such circumstances. 


When I thought I was composed enough, I set off on a lap of the ground, but hadn’t made it very far before I became embroiled in a heated argument with Barry Coates, the Knypersley coach. He had taken it upon himself to sermonize to me over what is deemed fair play on the field. My crime? Being the victim of an atrocious decision and pausing briefly with shock before walking off without passing any comment upon the correctness or otherwise of the umpire’s adjudication, nor upon the integrity of the appeal despite one of Knypersley’s fielders (whose on-field discipline falls within Mr Coates’ brief as coach) telling me to “f**k off out!” My disbelief at Coates’ lecture increased tenfold when I recalled that his own son had not walked when batting. Needless to say, I gave as good as I got, but after the match bought him a diplomatic pint; the matter was resolved with him saying “these things balance themselves out in the long run”. This particular cliché does not apply to batsmen that walk so I took a good deal more consolation from the pint of lager he bought me in return. 

scattered kit

Anyway, whilst I was locking horns, Andy Hawkins had the scoreboard ticking along nicely at four an over, and things looked promising for a few overs…until Addo had his second quixotic impulse of the afternoon, running down the pitch at Boon to give Brew another victim behind the stumps. Having discussed the need to keep wickets intact this shot was incomprehensible and served to remind us that even the best players are prone to hot-headedness when batting under pressure. In mitigation, it has to be said that we would have all applauded wildly had the ball gone crashing to the boundary. Rich Harvey went next, misjudging the length as he drove Boon to mid-off. Iain Carr then fell lbw for a duck to a ball that hit him extremely high. Finally, Mauler, having just seen off a nosebleed, joined the procession as he holed out to long-on. When Seth followed a couple of overs later to a brilliant return catch from Neil Dutton, the game was over as a contest. 

Pride was partially restored by a partnership between Drew and Barry and then by a late flurry from Dave Astle and Wayne Stones, as they all chipped a few singles and stole the odd boundary. It was ultimately to prove futile and our innings was finally wrapped up for 147 in the 36th over.

mypoic umpires...

It was extremely disappointing that we hadn’t come close to doing ourselves justice in a game that we had a decent chance of winning. Most of the conversation in the bar was constructive and friendly. Knypersley’s out-cricket had been superb (perhaps that fielding drill was useful, after all!!) and we had been thoroughly outplayed on the day, but we took our defeat graciously and no amount of in-depth analysis would change the fact that we were never really in the chase. However, Darren Long, the victorious captain, conceded that the rub of the green with the umpiring decisions did go, and always has gone, in favour of the team from the higher division.

Despite being pilloried from all quarters over my groovy yellow shirt, I stayed until midnight with Addo and Harv, by which time Dickie and I had become a little rowdy, and managed to simulate a convincing enough row for one of Moddershall’s non-cricketing members to feel he had to step in to separate us! The ‘argument’ started when Harv suggested that all my Spanish degree would lead me to was “meeting people off the coach in Torremolinos”. Imagine, then, that in the year 2005 I can guide tourists into a Spanish leisure complex and introduce them to their tennis instructor, Dickie Mint!

Once again we trudged away drunkenly, consoling ourselves with the delusion that all sides use when they are knocked out of the cup: at least we can concentrate on the league now! 

MODDERSHALL LOST BY 80 RUNS 

KNYPERSLEY 227 for 7 (40 overs) 
M Tournier 74, D Long 59
MODDERSHALL 147 all out (36 overs) 
N Dutton 4-36, J Boon 3-21

* Having escaped relegation the previous year on a technicality, Knypersley went on to win the North Staffordshire and South Cheshire League, Division 1 Section A title in 1995. They lost the Talbot Cup Final to Longton.